Conversation I had with my daughter the other night:
K: What’s the opposite of ewes?
Me: Ewes? E-W-E-S?
Me: Yous? Like, New York “yous?”
K (after a short pause): Yes.
Me: Well, the opposite of “yous” would be….”mes.”
K (looks at me in confusion and then laughs): That doesn’t make ANY sense. MES isn’t the opposite of YOUS!
Me: (looking baffled myself by this point): What are you even talking about? It’s like you speak a different language!
K: Well, mes is NOT the opposite of yous!
Me: What do you MEAN???
K: The opposite of YOUS would be a word that describes someone older!
Me (I finally get it): OHHHHHHH! You mean YOUTHS!
K: Yes, YOUS!
Me: YouTHS. YouTHSSSSS. I thought you meant “yous” – like they say in New York: “Hey, yous guys!” You said, “Yes” when I asked if you meant New York yous!
K: I said “yes,” because of COURSE there are YOUTHS in New York!
Me: Well, the opposite of youths would be….mature.
K: You can’t say, “Those MATURES – they’re a crazy bunch.”
Me: OK – ELDERLY then.
K: That’s TOO old – I was looking for a word to describe you and your confusion with the internet. (She pauses). Maybe “elderly” IS the right word.
THEN, to add insult to injury, when I told K I was going to blog about this and title it, “The Ewes of New York,” she said, “You should call it, ‘My hearing is going because I’m ELDERLY!’”