Her pose & posture positively SCREAM power!
I’m…how shall I put it? Rubenesque. Even when I diet and exercise, I still have padding and curves. It’s been a source of frustration and embarrassment for me since the early 80’s. Even with the scarf tied into my big hair and wearing lace in strategic places – I just never managed to look like Madonna in her “Like a Virgin” video…tres triste (according to Google translate, that means “very sad” in French – I’m attempting to come across as very cosmopolitan here…is it working?)
About three years ago, I finally managed to lose forty pounds – I still had another forty to go, but I was pretty stoked, because I hadn’t ever been able to lose a significant amount of weight on my own before. I did gain about ten pounds back, but overall, I held pretty steady and felt confident enough that I donated all of my “fat clothes” to Goodwill. Then, last fall, I spent a month in Europe. I knew that I was going to eat, for I was going to the land of chocolate croissants, Nutella crepes, and pasta (and I’m a realist, most of the time). I worked like a demon in the months leading up to the trip, determined to take off those ten pounds again, so I had some weight wiggle room in Europe as I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
My plan worked – when I came home, I had gained only 8 pounds. But after a month without any structured gym time and eating with abandon, I found it difficult – nay, IMPOSSIBLE to get back to my diet and workout routine. Since I wasn’t walking for miles every day (like I had been in Europe), and I continued to eat as if I WERE still in Europe, the scale kept creeping up and up. My clothes were uncomfortably tight – I was down to two pair of pants I could squeeze into for work, but I REFUSED to buy new “fat clothes.” To do that would make me feel as if I was giving up and accepting the weight gain. Yet, each day when I vowed to go to the gym (and didn’t) and eat only healthy foods (only to binge on bread, sweets, and salty snacks), I felt like a failure…a fat, flabby failure! The day I found some overlooked pants in the guest room closet that were the next size up, my immediate reaction was, “YES! I’ll FINALLY be COMFORTABLE!” Followed immediately by, “NOOOOO – I’m back in my fat clothes!” It was a strange feeling to be so elated and despondent at the same time.
I was starting to despair that I would ever lose the weight I had gained. I worried that I would gain all of that initial forty pounds I had lost back again, plus more. I felt disgusted with my body and myself. Then something interesting happened. I’ve mentioned before about my wonky shoulders, which are hunched forward, making me look and feel like a little old lady. My doctor referred me to physical therapy, where I found out that my scoliosis and back fusion were to blame. Since my spine doesn’t flex or rotate, my shoulders compensated the best they could, which caused them to rotate forward – and kind of freeze in that position.
I’ve been going to physical therapy for several months now, being poked, prodded, and manhandled (and not in the way I would normally enjoy). I’ve started to get some movement back in my shoulders and it’s starting to be more natural for me to stand straight, shoulders back (best they can), head high – and as my posture has improved, so has my body image! I was standing in front of the mirror this morning in my bra and underwear and found myself ADMIRING my softly rounded stomach and my curvy hippiness instead of internally lamenting about my extra padding! I have also noticed that my stress level seems to be less, I feel happier overall, and I have been more willing to leave my comfort zone, engaging in social interactions that normally I would avoid.
There seem to be studies that support this very thing. According to a 2009 article in the European Journal of Social Psychology, researchers “examined how body postures can influence self-evaluations by affecting thought confidence.” They asked participants to write down their best or worst qualities when sitting with good posture or slouched forward, and then participants took a survey in which they rated themselves on how well they would do as a future professional employee. The results clearly showed that the “effect of the direction of thoughts (positive/negative) on self-related attitudes was significantly greater when participants wrote their thoughts in the confident…posture” rather than the slouched posture. In other words, the participants who had better posture had more confidence in themselves and their thoughts than those who had poor posture.
Other studies found that “adopting an expansive body posture can…enhance a sense of power” and that even when you fake “body postures that convey competence and power” it can change hormone levels in our bodies and “generally configures your brain to cope well in stressful situations.” Basically, “if you act powerfully, you will begin to think powerfully.”
While I still would like to lose some of this weight and become more healthy (and I have started going to the gym more regularly to help achieve this), I like this feeling of my self-worth not being directly tied into my weight. So, I’ll continue to stand tall and proud, with my chin up and my chest out – even if it does put my uneven boobs front and center!
Do you wrestle with self-esteem issues? What works to help you feel good about yourself?
“I like this feeling of my self-worth not being directly tied into my weight.” <– This line is gold! Thank you for writing it. 🙂
I spend a lot of face time with the mirror. I'm a dancer, so it's fun for me to watch myself move and try out different motions. I agree that posture and attitude make all the difference. Have you seen any of those articles where someone posts before and after shots, and then admits that they took the pictures just 15 minutes apart? All the "improvements" come from better-fitting clothes, more confident posture, more stylish hair/make-up, and a SMILE!
I have NOT seen the articles with the before and after shots — I tried to Google and find some, but ended up finding websites for chiropractors and various body-shaping garments (“designed to truly reshape your lower body…and redistribute some of your irregularities to a more desirable area”). What does that even MEAN? If you remember where you saw them, let me know.
Ack, I should have given you links right away and saved you from corset hell! Here you go:
http://gawker.com/personal-trainer-exposes-before-after-secrets-on-in-1189167678/all
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-dixon/weight-loss-secrets_b_3643898.html?ncid=wsc-dl-cards-readmore%3Dedlinkusaolp00000009
Those “transformations” are pretty incredible, considering they took just 15 minutes to one hour! Thanks for the links!
Good call! So, starting tomorrow, I’m going power posture all the way. Today’s almost over and it’s been a real pisser, so I’m gonna go ahead and slump my way through tonight, lol.
Apparently, one of the “power poses” is leaning back in your chair and propping your feet on your desk. I’m not sure that would be good for my posture — or that my boss would approve…but I’m TOTALLY going to give it a go at least once a day…all for the sake of science, of course.
Oh god…we are cut from the same cloth. I struggle with the same things. I too lost 40 lbs..(with about 30 – 40 to go) and gained it back. I’m working at it. Again.
I feel you.
It’s sometimes a helpless/hopeless feeling, isn’t it? — this struggle with food and weight. However, I am trying to discover more ways to feel great about myself no matter what I weigh! I don’t want weight or size to define me…because I’m much more than that (and if other people can’t see that, then screw ’em)! It’s nice to find another curvy chick who understands the ups and downs!
Gurl. You don’t even know. Actually, you do. I totally understand your struggles. Even when I’m not my curvier version, I always feel like I am. It’s a constant argument with my body image. Personally, I love seeing curves on women, but I’m not as kind to myself.
The posture stuff is really cool. I always try to walk tall, but at home I forget and find myself slumping a lot!
Beth, I think more people than not (especially women) have some degree of body dysmorphic disorder. When I was in high school, a competitive swimmer, working out three times a day, in excellent shape — I still looked at my thighs and lamented that they were so huge. They were shapely, muscular, strong thighs — and I hated them. So, that only got worse when I actually DID have some extra padding. I’m still a work in progress.
I had an eating disorder for a long, long time (I guess I still do as you never truly get past it). I also have perfect posture. People make fun of it and comment on it all the time. Like a model, they say. It doesn’t make me feel confident, but it makes me look like I feel confident. So, I guess it works.
Fake it ’til you make it, girlfriend!
First time reader here (from Aussa’s blog) and was drawn in by your post’s clever alliterative title. But I stayed for the content. I’ve now turned into a guitar – – which means you struck a ton of chords with me with the body image stuff. So perfect posture is the thing, huh? I don’t know about you but that harkens back to my mother who used to say, “Sit up straight – – your back will thank you.” Nowadays she’d probably just say, “Don’t worry – – I’ve got your back!” Well, my point being that it takes conscious effort and continuous self-aware vigilance to have “good posture.” I think maybe I’ll just watch the movies, “Walking Tall” and “Sitting Pretty” (the latter before both our times!) instead! Great blog.
Aussa only has the crème de la crème of readers/commenters — so I’m flattered that you stopped by! I had never heard of “Sitting Pretty” — so of course I had to research it. Did you know (and I’m sure you did) that the 1980’s sitcom “Mr. Belvedere” was based on “Sitting Pretty” (or perhaps more accurately on the book, “Belvedere,” which “Sitting Pretty” was based on). I’ve not read the book or seen the movie — but they are now both on my list.
I learn the most interesting thing from my readers! PS — I love that your mom has your back!