24 Responses

  1. Carol
    Carol May 11, 2014 at 12:43 pm | | Reply

    It will be a long and hard road as you stated but Jana, you are Worthy and you will come through this! My heart breaks for you, as I have watched you try to make changes that you or Doc thought needed to be made. The one thing I have learned (because of my divorces ) is that any changes made have to be for you and no one else. You have to be true to yourself.
    I am here for you!

  2. Shelley
    Shelley May 11, 2014 at 11:14 pm | | Reply

    Whhooo boy. I hope that was cathartic for you. Hope things work out. Found your blog via Aussa.

  3. maurnas
    maurnas May 12, 2014 at 6:04 am | | Reply

    You know how much I hate being touched but I honestly wish I could give you a hug right now. Thank you for sharing this story. I am crying after reading it. I guess I recognize that desperation to make an abusive relationship work. I’ve been there too.

    PS FUCK that church. I cant tell you how many times I have heard from women that their church told them to stay in abusive relationships. Even when they had been hospitalized from their husbands violence. Even when their husbands were so far gone from drugs or alcohol . Even when they were cheating. I just want to do something drastic when I hear these stories.

  4. Steph
    Steph May 12, 2014 at 11:05 am | | Reply

    Jana, I’m so sorry.

  5. Sandy Ramsey
    Sandy Ramsey May 12, 2014 at 2:01 pm | | Reply

    Jana, I am so very sorry to hear this news. I wish I had something witty or wise to say right now but this is tough. I will say this, after reading this story, I believe you will be just fine. That was a rough road and you made it. I will keep you in my thoughts.

  6. Aussa Lorens
    Aussa Lorens May 12, 2014 at 6:33 pm | | Reply

    Wow. What a story… what an asshole. Obviously you know how much I relate to the whole not-ending-it-even-though-you-know-its-over thing but I cannot imagine how difficult that must have been with two small children. I know you’re not looking to talk about it, but I am so sorry that this is happening to you. You’ve made it quite clear that you are strong enough to not only survive the heartbreak but thrive and kick ass. No one doubts that. Be well, and know that you have a whole slew of people in here who agree with you that you’re WORTHY.

  7. Michelle
    Michelle May 13, 2014 at 5:40 am | | Reply

    I don’t want you do have to go through this. I wish I could take it away.

    And you are NOT the same person you were when you were married to the loser. You’ve got years of experience and strength that your young self didn’t have.

    I believe you will come out on the other side a stronger person. I’m sure it won’t be easy, but I can hear the strength and wisdom in your writing.

    You got this.

  8. Lillian Connelly
    Lillian Connelly September 22, 2014 at 11:42 am | | Reply

    It must have been really hard to write about this. I hope you road is less rocky than you imagine and that soon you feel better and have a much happier life. You certainly deserve that!

  9. Roshni
    Roshni September 22, 2014 at 2:54 pm | | Reply

    What an awful person he was! Thank God you got out of that when you did, Jana! I’m really sorry that things didn’t work out with the Doc though.

  10. One Funny Motha
    One Funny Motha September 22, 2014 at 6:25 pm | | Reply

    Wow. How awful. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that especially with 2 kids in tow, but you were very young and I suppose overly optimistic and naive. The guy was a complete jackass and the church wasn’t much better. My friend went through a similar divorce – not w/ the cheating – but w/ a guy who was emotionally abusive or at least manipulative and who was never going to change and didn’t want to do the work in therapy. The thing is you can’t change them & their behavior is no reflection on you. And your therapist was right. People like that are going to wake up 20 years from now & wonder why they have no life & no family. They are sad really, and you deserve MUCH better than that.

  11. Kristi Campbell
    Kristi Campbell September 23, 2014 at 3:23 pm | | Reply

    Wow. This is so incredibly sad – all of it. That your marriage to Doc is ending when you obviously still want to work on it (I’m so sorry) and that the church wanted you to stay in an abusive relationship and that you had to forge out on your own so young with two small children (but I’m glad you dumped The Loser!!). I was divorced from my own kindof-a-loser about 15 years ago now. Even though we both agreed it was best, and we were nice to each other, it was heart wrenching. I hope you’re feeling stronger. You’re not alone!

If you don't comment, then I'm just talking to myself -- and I do too much of that already.

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