I love to read – it’s been a passion of mine since I was just a little girl. I was a frequent visitor to the little library in my hometown, devouring series like Nancy Drew, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Boxcar Children and The Wizard of Oz (yes, it’s a series – not just one book about a girl with ruby slippers)! I went through a few, embarrassing years when I was addicted to Harlequin romances and I even wrote a novel and submitted it to Harlequin at one point (I still have the rejection letter, which contains such gems as “your story offers nothing really new or exciting” and “the characters are too close to stereotype and the plot is too contrived”).
Dear Jana, Thank you…but, no thanks!
While reading is wonderful – it is a solitary activity, which usually doesn’t bother me. However, this year I decided that I needed to stop being such a hermit, start socializing and maybe even make a few friends! I tried some new things, taking classes to learn how to fuse glass jewelry and to cook paella and tapas. But I also wanted to do something social that incorporated something I already knew I loved – so I signed up for a book club hosted by my favorite used book store.
The book club was held on the second Tuesday of every month – at 4:00pm. Since I work Monday-Friday on an 8am-5pm schedule, this presented a problem – but I was determined to give it a go, even though the thought of meeting a bunch of strangers kind of terrified me. So, I did what any normal person would do to get out of work early – I faked a migraine. About 3pm, I suddenly was hit with intense pain, crippling nausea, and a sensitivity to light. I was given the go-ahead to head home early to take my meds and lay in a dark room – but instead, I hit the road – instantly and miraculously cured of my ailment.
I entered the bookstore with some trepidation and immediately spotted the book club members – seated in front of the floor to ceiling plate glass windows near the front of the store. I made my way to them, introduced myself, and was offered a seat. I noticed two things right away: 1) the afternoon sun streaming through the windows heated up the seating area to a searing 5000 degrees – and since I was facing the windows, it also threatened to burn out my retinas. And 2) I was the youngest person in the group. This was surprising because I’m a little long in the tooth myself – a quinquagenarian with grown children and even a grandchild. However, compared to these gals, I was a spring chicken…a fresh faced ingénue!
My opinion is that prune cookies are delicious!
I reminded myself that my social experiment did not require that I make friends only with people my age. I reminded myself that, with age, came experience and wisdom – and that my book club buddies-to-be probably had many interesting stories and thought-provoking comments about the books we were reviewing. I decided that I needed to give this several months in order to really feel comfortable and see what it was all about.
So, for four months, on the second Tuesday of every month, around 3pm in the afternoon, I would suddenly develop a malady that would require I leave work early in order to recover – and I joined my cronies for what I hoped would be a spirited, intelligent, and animated discussion about the book we had read that month. However, this was rarely the case.
Usually the conversation centered on the snacks. Each month, a member volunteered to bring the snacks and they were serious about this responsibility! Everything was artfully arranged and described ad nauseam. Often, the snacks were made from secret family recipes or were intended to be healthy (“these cookies are made with a prune puree – it’s better for you than butter and it has the added benefit of keeping you regular!”)
The snacks also attracted interlopers, sometimes a child would wander by and decide that the mini bran muffins looked delicious (usually they was dropped on the floor after the first bite) – but more often, an older gentleman and his dog. At first, I thought he was a member of the book club, because he was there so often. He would never speak – with his dog in his lap, he would load a plate with copious amounts of whatever snack was on the menu that day and, after eating it, he would promptly fall asleep. It was only after the third consecutive visit, when the old man began to snore loudly and his dog (at least I hope it was his dog) began to pass putrid gas, and when the owner of the book store gently woke him up and told him it was time to head home, that I learned he was an uninvited guest.
Eventually, I came to the conclusion that this book club was just not for me (plus, I was running out of plausible excuses to get out of work early)! I bid my farewells, but I didn’t give up! I eventually found another book club that met after work – with members of all ages – interesting, intelligent, and amusing women that not only discuss the merits of the book of the month, but also mix it up by having potlucks and movie nights. I think it might be the perfect fit!
Have you ever been in a book club? What other things have you tried in order to make new friends? What was the best book you’ve read this year?
I’ve never been in a book club, so I have nothing to offer you there. However, I’m hung up on the Harlequin rejection letter. In particular:
““your story offers nothing really new or exciting” and “the characters are too close to stereotype and the plot is too contrived”).”
Um. Aren’t all romances written to a predetermined format? Aren’t they SUPPOSED to be that way? Fuck you, Harlequin.
Sarah — thank you for your outrage on my behalf. I got vengeance on Harlequin — I stopped buying their books and they probably lost millions 🙂
I’ve never joined a book club because…I don’t know. But I think I’d be very young. And I dunno if I’d find one outside working hours, either. I also hate the idea of having to read a book I don’t love. But now you’ve got me thinking. I also kindasorta resent having to spend facetime with people I might not choose, which is pretty sad, isn’t it?
Maybe I should find one and give it a try. In that 25th hour on the eighth day of the week, when I’ve finished writing my own book and stopped being so hooked into people online.
I’m glad you have a good club now though. And I couldn’t possibly tell you the best book I read this year – there are so many! One which has stuck with me really strongly though is ‘The Earth Hums in B-flat’ – that gave me such an EPIC book hangover…I came out of it not sure what was real any more, or whether I wanted it to be real any more…
OK – to be 100% honest, I’m not a huge fan of reading assigned books either. I have to say that I have discovered really great books in book club – but I also have read (or attempted to read) books that are drivel and a colossal waste of my time. I’ve made the decision to attempt each book – but if it doesn’t nab me early on, I toss it and read what I want (and I usually skip book club that month, because then I’d have to admit I’m a big quitter).
Having facetime with people who I don’t know (or who aren’t “my” kind of people) is also hard for me. But this year my goal was to get out of my comfort zone (wow – THAT happened in a big way, eh?) So, I forced myself to go and meet people and be social – for my own good. Sometimes I’m really happy I went, as the conversation is witty and intelligent – and other times, it’s a little bit like torture.
Okay well I guess I see the point of breaking out of your comfort zone. I also (this might be an odd one) don’t know if I’d be old enough for a book club. Or if they’d all be parents… but I’m glad YOU went. Can I just have this one vicariously, ya think? I read all the time – heck, I dream in Times New Roman…
Good for you for not showing a quitting face 🙂 I wouldn’t either! Who wants to go and talk about a book you didn’t enjoy? But well done for trying! I doubt I’d try. I threw away Middlemarch after half a chapter.
In the new book club, there are gals in their early twenties, all the way up to grandmothers (but grannies on the younger side — not “this close” to death). I think it’s like therapists — you might need to try a couple before finding one that clicks for you.
Hmmm maybe. Maybe. Though it would take serious time out from Blogosphering to read that much – books take me a lot longer these days! That said, it might do me good to unhook…
…you may yet convince me!
Book club not for this chick, not a joiner. I hate knowing that I have to be ‘somewhere’ at a given day or time. I do enough of that rubbish with work and family. I have occasionally put my toe outside of my comfort zone and did things like an after work bootcamp…which was a poor idea as that it dealt a colossal blow to my psyche when I realized that I was fatter and more out of shape than the fattest most out of shape person there :/
I do, however, LOVE to read. I find myself going for rather large stretches when I am not reading. But when I do return to it, I do so with fervor! As for the best book this year…hmmm…rereading the entire works of Terry Brooks at the moment. His were of the first grown up books that I ever read and I was hooked back in ~ 1982-83ish. I am already 5 books in and I am loving revisiting. I love that even though the story rings familiar I am drawing different impressions from them the second time around. I am glad that I didn’t cave to the outside pressure of ‘why do you keep all these books if you’ve already read them’ mentality and kept them all. I always knew I would go back to them again and I have learned that some of my hardcovers that I have of his books are collectors items!
I think the hardest part is actually finding the moments to read sometimes. Between work and taking care of business (ie being the husbands party girl and caretaker … yes I married a man child ) who has the time and or energy to sit down and read before sleep takes over?
New friends? That’s a tough one. Not really interested. I am quite content on my own. I find it hard to depend on others and have been devastated in the past if a friendship didn’t pan out. I think the hardest part of the lone wolf mentality is what I mentioned from before, as in the not having an outlet…someone to talk to.
I hear you, Terri – I’m also kind of a lone wolf, but I’m consciously trying to find a pack to hang with every so often. Especially right now, I think that is important for me (because the alternative is to be alone, lonely, and miserable from thinking too much). I’ve had some crazy social experiment failures – and some that are more successful. Terry Brooks! What a blast from the past! I read his Sword of Shannara series when I was a teen.
What’s it all come to in the end, a boog? A bloomin’ boog, when you could be out there, betraying a rich American widow, or sipping palm wine in Tahiti, before you’re too old, like me! Go parading, before it’s too late!
OK, girl – when I first read this, I was like, “What kind of Kool-aid is Roxie drinking today?” Then I started to research it – because I knew it had to be a quote from something! I finally found it, and I’m chagrined to admit (being that I was in radio for so damn long) that I NEVER saw Hard Days Night! PS – why does it have to be either/or? I’d like to think I can sip the palm wine in Tahiti while reading the “blooming boog”.
Hahahaha! I’m so glad you researched it! That is one of my favorite quotes! I love the way Paul’s grandfather keeps calling it a “boog”! 🙂
I’ve thought of joining a book club, but all the ones I’ve seen are “good for you books”. Serious books. I prefer my books to be “junk food”. I like to read books for fun. Trashy books, horror books, sci fi. I’m really into the current fantasy vampire/werewolves/fairy stuff they have right now. I generally dislike the serious discussion books they have in book clubs. So I read on my own 🙂
I agree – sometimes if we are reading “literature” or novels from Oprah Winfrey’s picks, it gets to be a little too much like English class. I keep expecting someone to ask me all about symbols and themes (and I’m apt to respond, “Sometimes, a bull is just a damn BULL!”) My own reading choices are like yours – I’m especially into urban fantasy at the moment. Of course, this sometimes makes me feel like very unsophisticated when compared to everyone else – but I’m just going to have to live with that.
I have never been in a book club…but I would totally join one for the right snacks. I’m a little nervous about being with a group of strangers because my mouth says what it wants to without my brain’s permission. Sometimes they are in cahoots and they think what I’m saying is hilarious.
but usually it’s not so much hilarious to strangers.
See, we need a book club for women like us – not pretentious, a little (OK, maybe a lot) crass, and willing to call it as we see it. There would be no finger sandwiches and bon-bons (well, maybe bon-bons) – instead we would have alcoholic drinks and all manner of unhealthy snacks. PS – I would TOTALLY find you hilarious. Why don’t you live closer??
I’m impressed. Not sure I’d have the guts to go to a book club! I’ve thought about it but I’d be intimidated haha– really makes no sense but my brain is full of such contradictions.
I always feel nervous and rather intimidated when I have to go into an unfamiliar social setting. Because book club is just once a month and because there are quite a few members, I still haven’t met everyone and I’ve never been good at remembering names – so even those I know (recognize) I often can’t remember who they are. It makes for some awkwardisity, but I figure the longer I attend, the more comfortable I’ll be. *knocks wood*
You better recognize me at BlogHer– especially on Pathfinder Day– because I’ll be wandering around totally lost and/or sitting alone drawing circles on a piece of paper. You must find me, join me.
Oh, I’ll find you, Aussa! Rest assured, I’ll find you! Muah ha ha ha ha!
Jana,
I was in a book club when we moved from Florida to Fort Wayne, IN. Not only was I one of the youngest people in the group, but I was the only one who didn’t care for sports, hunting, or talking about the Bible. So, I didn’t fit in. 🙂
I’m with Sarah — all romance novels are unoriginal. I bet that was a form letter they sent you. Add werewolves and vampires to your story and it will sell.
I love your blog.
Lisa
I wouldn’t have fit into that book club either! I wonder how much longer paranormal/urban fantasy type novels are going to be in vogue. I love the genre (because I secretly long to have magical powers, wear black leather, and carry a big sword), but with my luck, as soon as I wrote a book with vampires or werewolves, I’d get the same sort of rejection letter, full of things like “unoriginal” and “cliché”.
I really want to join a book club. But I am so anti-social. Oh, fuck it. Okay, Jana, I am going to join a book club. It is really stupid of me to have not done it already.
The Wizard of Oz series traumatized me as a kid. That shit was freaky.
Maurna, I’m the same way. New social situations are kind of terrifying for me — but one of my New Year’s resolutions was to force myself out of my comfort zone and to face my fears (I just didn’t imagine it would happen in such an unexpected and humongous way!) Even though I’ve been going to this book club for several months, I still get a little anxious (and I still don’t “know” everyone). But I keep on telling myself it is good for me to meet new people and engage my brain every once in awhile. You can imagine how the prospect of going to BlogHer is freaking me out.
I’m going to go to BlogHer someday. But I am so not ready for that. And that was one of my New Years resolutions too. Mine mostly involves touching people, though. I am not really shy or anything. I just like being alone.