21 Responses

  1. Cassandra
    Cassandra July 7, 2014 at 7:38 am | | Reply

    The Hunter-Gatherer who sits directly next to me always has a gallon of perfume, ensuring that I will have a blinding headache by the end of the opening credits. For this reason, I usually take an aisle seat and use my boyfriend as a human shield.

  2. Terri
    Terri July 7, 2014 at 7:54 am | | Reply

    *sigh, I used to like people but people ruined that for me. I cannot count how many theater going experiences have been ruined by one or all of these very creatures. I hardly go to the movies anymore…a shame really given how much I enjoy it (well…used to enjoy it anyways ) :/

  3. Michelle
    Michelle July 7, 2014 at 9:18 am | | Reply

    HAHAHA…these are all the reasons why I can hardly ever get hubs to see a movie with me. The cell phone people and the talkers need to be voted out of the theater

  4. Roxie
    Roxie July 7, 2014 at 2:09 pm | | Reply

    I call Hunter Gatherers, Sheldons. ( from Big Bang Theory )

  5. lrconsiderer
    lrconsiderer July 7, 2014 at 2:32 pm | | Reply

    Ohhh I could *sense* them! ICK! Yes – HUZZAH for movie nights at home!

  6. qwertygirl
    qwertygirl July 7, 2014 at 6:53 pm | | Reply

    I always sit in front of the Talker, except I end up in front of the Talker with a kid who’s explaining stuff to Junior, so if I get out of patience with the constant talking, I’m a Mean Person because I apparently don’t want the child to understand what’s going on. It’s why I almost never go to the movies.

  7. april
    april July 8, 2014 at 2:27 pm | | Reply

    I always get stuck next to the 6 year old in an adult movie that’s wildly inappropriate for small children. And this child is bored and confused by the screen. So bored that he or she must continually repeat “I’m bored. When is this movie over? Can we go now?” on a loop every 6 minutes. Every 5 minutes or so, are the big questions “Why did that man put his hand on that lady’s butt? Are they LICKING inside each other’s MOUTH?” and the horror “EW how come that guy chopped off the other guys head? Is that BLOOD? Why is he hurting her?”

    Over and over again.

  8. Aussa Lorens
    Aussa Lorens July 9, 2014 at 8:04 pm | | Reply

    Oh my gosh, the glutton.
    On Christmas Day the Boyfran and I went to see that Leo Dicaprio movie where he is a filthy rich stock guy. The theatre was one of those where you can order alcohol and food and we set next to this chick who ordered EVERY DAMN THING on the menu. She was constantly hitting the call button to order more food or drink. And she looked like she weighed MAYBE 120 pounds. I dared to glance over at one point and she was laying sideways in the chair with her uggs propped up next to The Boyfran’s face. When the movie was over, I looked at her little area and it looked like the interior of a minivan after it’s taken a 40-hour roadtrip with 8 toddlers.

  9. Sandy Ramsey
    Sandy Ramsey July 9, 2014 at 8:22 pm | | Reply

    These are all reasons why I wait for the DVD. I did recently see Godzilla with my kids and got lucky…except for all the food noises. There were those. You did forget one…..ever been in the theater with the folks who bring their baby? Yeah.

  10. maurnas
    maurnas July 10, 2014 at 8:49 pm | | Reply

    Being over 6ft tall, I am always super self conscious about my seating choices. I always worry I am going to ruin someone’s movie by blocking out the view.

If you don't comment, then I'm just talking to myself -- and I do too much of that already.

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