17 Responses

  1. Michelle
    Michelle August 22, 2014 at 2:18 pm | | Reply


    My husband and I babysat for my ex husband and his wife on new year’s eve 1999. (how weird is that) So my son spent the evening with his half brother. His brother was 7 at the time. My husband doesn’t understand that just because WE say outlandish things doesn’t mean that EVERYONE says outlandish things.

    So my son’s little brother asks my husband if he could go down into our basement and hubs tells him “Sure, there is a 700 lb one legged man who lives down there, though”

    It scared the crap out the little guy and I spent the rest of my new year’s eve convincing my ex-husband’s kid that there wasn’t a great big one legged man in our basement.

  2. lrconsiderer
    lrconsiderer August 22, 2014 at 2:47 pm | | Reply

    OH how I enjoyed this! I always wanted a basement, and yours sounds utterly magical! You must have had hours of fun down there 🙂

    Really? You refrigerate peanut butter? I never have…that said I expect you don’t any more – you have a compelling reason to never want to eat it again. But I giggled at ‘human reese’s’

    Your cousin Tommy has a WICKED sense of humour. I love it. It’s exactly the kind of thing I’d do.

    I once soaked my hand in ice-cold water after my sister had just been put to bed. I dried the hand once the bones had chilled, and went in, dumped it on her face and told her “this is what a dead hand feels like”. I think I was about 8 at the time. I was an EVIL GENIUS 😀

  3. Sarah (est. 1975)
    Sarah (est. 1975) August 23, 2014 at 1:12 pm | | Reply

    My parents had one of these awesome basements in my childhood home. It smelled vaguely of mildew and there were definitely spiders, but it was cool and we could do whatever we wanted down there, so we loved it.

  4. Aussa Lorens
    Aussa Lorens August 24, 2014 at 8:12 pm | | Reply

    I absolutely love this story. I am so Tommy. I loved nothing more than terrifying other little children. I still sort of do but now a lot of that is illegal. Ha.

  5. Foxy Wine Pocket
    Foxy Wine Pocket August 25, 2014 at 1:01 am | | Reply

    We have one of those basements now. But there is no “secret” stash of food. Unless you count the crackers crammed underneath the couch cushions. Hopefully there’s no peanut butter though.

  6. April
    April August 25, 2014 at 11:18 am | | Reply

    So years ago, when I was about 14, I told my 3 younger siblings (who were about 6, 5 and 4 years old at the time, and driving me INSANE) that I controlled the boogey man. All I had to do was call his name 3 times. I made up an imaginary sister, named Amanda, and told them that I had called the boogey man on her when she wouldn’t leave me alone, and the next morning only one eye remained of her on my pillow. I had a necklace with a blue eye as the pendant, and told them I wore it in remembrance of her. I was blissfully free of annoying siblings for about 3 days. All I had to do was say “Boogey man-one” and they would run away. Unfortunately, I had to confess that I made it all up when my mom found out.

  7. Roxie
    Roxie August 25, 2014 at 12:20 pm | | Reply

    I dipped in the forbidden peanut butter when I was a kid, too, but I used a big spoon. I put the jar back in the fridge and took the spoon to the basement! What was on the spoon usually lasted a half hour, and since no one knew I was in the basement, no one knew I was the one who ate the peanut butter! 🙂

  8. Sandy Ramsey
    Sandy Ramsey September 4, 2014 at 1:24 pm | | Reply

    Love. This. Story. I don’t have any idea how you could force yourself to eat an entire jar of peanut butter. I can barely get down a small sandwich when I get a craving for it. Kids! Speaking of…I can just imagine the fright I know I would have been terrified. I had a sleepover, I must have been about ten, and this was back in the days when it was safe to sleep with your windows open. My girlie friends and I were doing our sleepover thing when my dad and my little brother came to the open window and popped up out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of us. I hope they enjoyed the screaming!

If you don't comment, then I'm just talking to myself -- and I do too much of that already.

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