20 Responses

  1. Michelle
    Michelle October 2, 2014 at 7:45 am | | Reply

    Oh my sister…I am so sorry you are in pain. I don’t have any words to comfort you, not really..or advice..All I can do is let you know I am thinking of you and I appreciate you sharing your story.

  2. Sarah (est. 1975)
    Sarah (est. 1975) October 2, 2014 at 7:52 am | | Reply

    I hate to read this, because I don’t like to see you hurting, but at the same time I am glad you wrote it and shared it with all of us, because writing is a great way to work through things.

    I tell my friends that divorce is never a bad thing. And I do believe it. Almost no one walks out of the courthouse going: “That wasn’t the right decision.” And the ones who do? They eventually learn.

    It’s hard to remember that while you’re in the moment, though. So hugs, and kisses. And best of luck to you mama.

  3. eva
    eva October 2, 2014 at 10:26 am | | Reply

    That is such a hard story to share. You are being strong and brave by putting it out there and puzzling your way through it and not flinching away from it. A betrayal and dismissal of that magnitude will take time to process and gain perspective on of course but at least you are doing the hard work. Your ex sounds like he is in denial and not facing anything head on and that comes with it’s own consequences down the road. You deserve happiness and companionship. Sending you hugs xxoo

  4. Considerer
    Considerer October 2, 2014 at 4:21 pm | | Reply

    Such pain in those unmet expectations, and so sad that they went unfulfilled 🙁

    You didn’t deserve to be treated so badly. You were trying your best, but it needs two people’s best, doesn’t it – when things have gotten so bad.

    I doubt there will come a time where you don’t look back at least a little wistfully, because how it’s MEANT to be and how it is, are two vastly different things, yet we are all conditioned to cling to the ‘meant to be’ 🙁

    Hang on in there. I’m glad you wrote this out of you, at least.

  5. Roxie
    Roxie October 3, 2014 at 9:27 am | | Reply

    Sending you an internet shoulder to lean on and a great big, squishy hug!

  6. Kristi Campbell
    Kristi Campbell October 3, 2014 at 7:11 pm | | Reply

    Oh I’m so sorry to read this and to see your pain and rejection in your words and so very much hope that writing it has released some of that. I went through a divorce about 15 years ago now and have to admit that it was totally me, who wanted it to end… I was done (we were young) with people passed out on my living room floor all the time, I’d had a miscarriage, and well, he did want to work on it and we went to counseling but at one point the counselor looked at us and said “WHY? Why do you want to stay together?” and then, both of us realized we didn’t.
    Such a huge difference though – we’d only been married for 2 years or so. My mom left my dad after 23 years of marriage – she had an affair with my brother’s hockey coach (did I tell you this already??).
    Anyway, I don’t have good advice, except to say that you are worthy and important and very very lovable – and I do NOT need to know you to know that because all of us are – and that Doc not wanting to work at this any longer is not a reflection of YOU, but of HIM. That, I promise, with all of me. Learned the hard way in more ways than one since my divorce… hugs to you

  7. Dana
    Dana October 5, 2014 at 4:40 pm | | Reply

    I’m so sorry for all the pain you are experiencing, Jana. I know that answers won’t change things, but I can certainly understand why you want them. And I think you deserve them, but they just may not come. I hope you do get to a point when you aren’t thinking “this time last year.” And in the meantime, if writing helps you, do it.

  8. maurnas
    maurnas October 6, 2014 at 5:39 pm | | Reply

    I really hope that getting this out has made you feel better. I agree that some things are just determined to be written about. It does tend to help me.

  9. Terri
    Terri October 7, 2014 at 11:33 am | | Reply

    It’s probably just my head space at the moment, but my inclination would be to tell him to go ‘Eff himself, don’t let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out pal’. Onward and upward my dear!

  10. Bonnie Blohm
    Bonnie Blohm October 19, 2014 at 8:44 pm | | Reply

    Hi Jenna, First thing, I must thank you for giving me your blog address at your card party on the 11th . You were a very warm hostess and I had a lot of fun. This happens to be the first blog of yours that I have read and I must say that you are a very brave and smart woman. I don’t know of many people who could look inside themselves and be honest enough to point out their own misgivings and faults. Do any two people really get to know the other? Even after years together, with outside influences and daily responsibilities, people change. Sometime it happens so gradually that you hardly notice. Life gets in the way. Your writing is your outlet and path to sanity and peace. You really should consider writing a book. You are the first blog I have followed and I am sure you can be a lot of help to others going through what you have.

If you don't comment, then I'm just talking to myself -- and I do too much of that already.

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