It’s been a weird few days. Nothing different or interesting has happened, but my body and brain are acting like I’ve been subjected to something unpleasant. The other night, I was lying in bed playing Candy Crush on my phone – and suddenly tears started streaming down my face. I wasn’t stuck on a level or anything! I put down my phone for just a few seconds (because, let’s face it, Candy Crush is addictive and I wasn’t giving up that easily) and analyzed myself for a moment. Was I feeling sad? Not really – in fact I wasn’t really feeling anything at that particular moment. So, why was I crying? I had no clue. I went back to playing my Candy Crush and just let the tears continue to flow until they decided to stop a few minutes later. Weird.
Then, last night, I was sitting in my spot on the couch (the one I collapse into after dinner and usually don’t leave until bedtime) watching television and I noticed that I had a tight feeling in my chest and a knot in my stomach. My breathing started to get rapid and I started feeling anxious. Nothing had happened to trigger an almost panic attack (and I don’t have panic attacks)! Just moments before, I had been feeling content and relaxed – the show I was watching was pleasant and innocuous. So what the hell? I concentrated on evening out my breathing as I contemplated what was happening and reminded myself that there was no reason to feel anxious. Within a few moments the feeling subsided and finished watching my television show. Weird.
This morning, I woke up at the sensible time of 3:55am – wide awake. I haven’t done this for months, since I was going through so much stress and shit when Doc left me! I attempted to close my eyes and will myself back to sleep, but my brain was having none of it. Instead, it started thinking of anything and everything, my thoughts racing from one subject to the next. Did I pay the credit card bill this month? When was it due anyway? What tasks did I need to do at work later (much later) this morning? Should I just get up and go work out at the gym? Was it still as cold as snot outside? Wait, snot wasn’t cold – unless you sneezed into the fridge or something. Weird.
I don’t know why my body and mind have decided to fuck with me. I’m still taking my happy pills every morning. I’m still taking my old lady pills every night. I’m eating really well (thanks Weight Watchers) and I’m working out several times a week (gotta get those activity points)! So what the hell? Weird.
I could drive myself even more crazy trying to figure out what is going on – but why would I want to do that? Instead, I figured I would distract myself (and maybe you) with some weird stories I saw while watching the news tonight (am I spending too much time watching television and playing Candy Crush?)
Apparently a couple of New Mexican men are on the short list to make a one-way trip to Mars in the future. For reals! It’s called the “Mars One Mission” and it’s run by a Dutch non-profit. They want to send about two dozen people on a one-way mission to colonize Mars. 200,000 people applied – and they’ve narrowed the list down to 100 hopefuls at this point. I kind of get it – sometimes I just want to get in my car and drive forever. Going to Mars would be one way to really get away from it all and start over!
Scientists are interested in why people get the munchies when they smoke pot – so they are doing a munchies study. I was all intrigued for a moment – do they need volunteers? It’s been nearly 30 years since I’ve smoked pot – but I remember those munchies! Would it be the same now that I’m nearly an old lady? Then the story continued – they are studying the brains of mice. Apparently very high, very hungry mice. My hopes of contributing to science were dashed.
The Lake Superior Zoo entertains the monkeys that live there by giving them tablets to play with. According to the zoo lady there, they solve puzzles, play games, and create “original drawings” and artwork (aren’t those the same thing?) They went on to tell a heartwarming tale of a swamp monkey named Nokie that came from the zoo in Chicago and he was lonely, so they gave him a tablet and he Facetimed with his dad who was back at the Lincoln Park Zoo. There was some vocalization on both parts and then both of them freaked out. It’s the last time they’ve spoken – but Nokie has since made new friends, so all is well.
Starbucks now offers home delivery – I’m not joking! People everywhere are crying with joy (that last part about the crying for joy is totally made up – but I think it’s certainly plausible).
A New Mexico man makes his living creating “Land Yachts.” He stresses that they are NOT regular travel trailers or run of the mill recreational vehicles. They are built with wood, doors, and windows – just like a regular house – on the back of a flatbed truck. They are full of angles and tiny little living spaces and – if they get into a wreck, I have a feeling that they will explode into a huge mass of spears and splinters, skewering everything and everyone in their path.
Just thinking of that makes me nearly have another almost panic attack! Weird!
Does your body and mind like to fuck with you for no reason? Would you join a one-way mission to Mars? Have you heard any weird news stories lately?