After my last online dating experience, I wasn’t in a hurry to set up another date. That was just as well, as the dating website I was using seemed to be recycling the same guys over and over – as if matching them with me for the fifth time would suddenly make me realize that I just had to have them and didn’t care that their idea of the perfect date was playing role-playing games (and not the sexy kind) in the basement of their mother’s house.
After a month or so, I signed up for another site – and immediately started getting interest from a nice variety of men. Two of them immediately stood out to me – Hulk (so named because he had a blond mustache reminiscent of Hulk Hogan) and the Lawman (a karate-loving correctional officer).
While I found Hulk’s mustache a bit over the top, he had a sense of humor – which is very important to me. He also was athletic and had a body that I couldn’t help but admire. He lived further away than was convenient – but as I’m not looking for anything serious, I could live with that, as the distance would make it nearly impossible to see each other more than once a week or so (which works well for me). We made arrangements to meet for drinks on a Sunday afternoon and in the meantime, we exchanged emails and texts. I liked him and was actually eager to meet him (usually, I have to practically drag myself kicking and screaming into new social situations).
The night before our date, I came out of a movie and saw that I had missed a call from Hulk. I listened to the message he had left for me: “I’m going to have to cancel our date tomorrow. I’m helping a female friend, Nicole, whose mother is having a health issue. We don’t know if it’s a heart attack or what – but I’m at the hospital with them and I’ll need to be available for them tomorrow. We’ll get together soon.”
On one hand, I admired the fact that Hulk was there to help his friend and her mother. On the other, I thought it was odd that he included so many details. Why bother to tell me that his friend was a woman – or give me her name? I shrugged it off and, when I hadn’t heard from him by midweek, I texted him to ask how his friend’s mother was doing. There was no response. I tried again a few days later, asking if he wanted to meet that weekend and this time he responded, telling me that he had family visiting, so he wouldn’t be available. Hmmmm…okay.
As I was driving home after seeing my parents that weekend, I received a text from Hulk: “I reconnected with an old meet and greet. We’ve decided to date, so I won’t be available for our meet and greet. But I’ll keep your number and if this doesn’t work out, I’ll text you to make arrangements for us to meet sometime.”
Umm..no. I texted back: “I’m not anyone’s backup plan – please, don’t keep my number.”
I was annoyed, but not hurt or angry. Besides, there were other prospects. I had been exchanging emails with the Lawman, who was intriguing, because he was also separated and in the process of a divorce and he was not looking for anything serious, like me. He was a good-looking man with chocolate skin and a good build who looked about ten years younger than his stated age.
The Lawman and I had tried to set up a meeting, but our schedules never seemed to mesh. He had mentioned that his work schedule was varied and that he was in the middle of doing his taxes, so things were busy, but that he would like to get together on the coming weekend – and that also worked for me. Then things got a little weird. First, I noticed that all of the Lawman’s pictures on his profile had disappeared. But then I found the pictures – on the first dating website I had used, along with a new profile name. I emailed, inquiring about his pictures and confirming that he wanted to meet this weekend. No answer. Really?
Now, I have no problem expressing an interest in someone or even in making the first move and asking them out – but I’m not into game playing or chasing a guy who really doesn’t want to be caught. Either a guy is sincerely interested or he’s not! If he strings me along or expects me to beg him to date me, he’s going to be in for a long, never-ending wait. I sent a final email to the Lawman: “If you really want to meet me, then you can propose a date, time, and place. The ball is in your court.”
I received an answer five hours later – but not from the Lawman: “He is not free and won’t be meeting you. He’s not single!”
Well. That explained a few things, like why the Lawman was always so busy. And if his wife had found his profile, it would also explain why his pictures were suddenly removed – and why he had decided to join a different website. Apparently, the Lawman is a craptastic husband – and not very good about hiding his intention to cheat.
So, I’m back to square one in the dating department. But I still have a few more nibbles on the website – like “HersheysDarkLuv”. I’ve always been a fan of dark chocolate!
The only question now is – do I respond to Mrs. Lawman, letting her know that her cheatin’ dog of a man already has a new profile on a different dating website?