I give up! I quit! I’m throwing in the towel, bowing out, and saying uncle. I think I’m done with the online dating thing.
Perhaps I was just too trusting in the sincerity and goodness of my fellow-man. While I knew that there were douche bags out there who are just after one thing (as exemplified by the guy whose initial greeting was, “We could be naked by nine!”), if someone reached out with a fairly normal salutation, I responded in kind.
However, after my experience with The Frenchman I encountered a rash of similarly English-challenged suitors. It soon became apparent that these fellas were not actually local at all, but instead scammers of some sort or another, intent on catfishing or…I’m really not sure what.
To be honest – I still don’t get it. What is the end game for these guys? Power? Fun? Money? Are there actually women out there so desperate that they fall for them without even meeting them in person? Would they actually give these scammers money if they were asked?
Not me – and I’ve had enough. I’ve decided to have my own kind of fun with these charlatans – and because I’m all about sharing, you get to come along for the ride.
The other day, this cheerful gentleman sent me the following greeting:
“Permit me to say you owe me 99%”? What does that even mean? 99% of my heart? 99% of my money? Ahhhh – 99% of my skepticism! That’s it!!!
I visited his profile, where I read such gems as “I am been a widow for 8 years, it’s has been very hot time for me but now I’m ready to love again as I’m retired,” and “I’m really good at praying as am a Christian.”
I threw out my opening salvo – and then he turned on the charm:
But wait, there’s more!
What a shame – I let him know the bad news. However, he wasn’t done telling me how wonderful he was:
He didn’t even pause for breath:
That last question I asked? I figured I would see how sharp he was regarding my local area. Any self-respecting New Mexican would know that I was referring to the broadcast antennas, tram station and restaurant. Apparently he wasn’t a self-respecting New Mexican, because he proceeded to give me an unrelated lesson in architecture.
Ah, the perfect set-up:
Finally, he seemed to realize something might not be right:
I haven’t heard from him since. I am just not having ANY luck getting to France with one of my online dating prospects! 🙂